No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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