he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
