The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
