Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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