I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
