A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
operation have a gay friend backfired
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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