pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Is her dick bigger than yours?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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