She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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