I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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