singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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