yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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