you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
