BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
