We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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