Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
