"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
