apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
