Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
