Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
