you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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