yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
