Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
