me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She bit a glass in half.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
