I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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