i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
