Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
