dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
