dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
