I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
