Whod you bang
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So many bounce houses so little time
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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