i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
