ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
