Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
