We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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