listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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