i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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