i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
