quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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