the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize