I'm lost and stupid without you.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
