Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house