ADVERTISEMENT

• (212): View more from New York

  that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment

  Fav 3 977 3117

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.

  Fav 10 6322 1603

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.

  Fav 19 1130 4845

  share tweet
  

• (818): View more from California

  Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

  (818): View more from California

  And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

  Fav 14 5813 1555

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?

  Fav 13 4519 1868

  share tweet
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.

  Fav 9 5572 2231

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads

  Fav 4 2714 1199

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese

  Fav 11 2778 977

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?

  Fav 5 1820 736

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.

  Fav 0 538 551

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.

  Fav 1 603 429

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.

  Fav 2 665 357

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.

  Fav 10 399 728

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"

  Fav 0 181 187

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (224): View more from Illinois

  It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.

  Fav 1 16 35

  share tweet
  

Randomize