I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
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No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.