I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.