Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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