he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
