I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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