I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
porn star boner night. come get it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
