You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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