I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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