Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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