Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
