so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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