While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize