She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
