I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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