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I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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