don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize