It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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