my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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