My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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