i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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