I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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